31 January, 2008: Nina
Read Matthew´s blog first! He wrote a beautiful description of last night, when we found out about Yandi and his new parents. I just wanted to add my enthusiasm. We are so overjoyed by this. I don´t really have words to express how beautiful this really is. I have tried to type out so many things I have in my heart and mind, regarding how beautiful this is, but I just can´t express anything! It is so big, so deep. Maybe I will try to journal later.
31 January, 2008: Matthew
We went to Casa I yesterday afternoon to spend a couple of hours with the kids there. Shortly after walking through the front gate and greeting a few of the stragglers investigating the activity interupting their migration from the nap room to the dinner table, I saw Yandi holding a laminated picture of an affectionately smiling couple dressed in red sweaters. I greet him and ask him what he has. He shyly squirms around and securely holds his picture. Nina and I continued our way into the dinning room and helped shepherd the toddlers to their places, and secure the babies in their chairs for some dinner. Knowing that the kids aren't typically allowed toys or items collected from the shelves at the table, and noticing that Yandi still has his beloved picture tucked in his hands at his place at the table, and that none of the Tias are protesting, I figure there must be something to it. I ask Tia Maribel, and she tells me that they are Yandi's new parents.......(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??!!!!!!!!!!) Emotion wells up, and tears give evidence. New parents? I didn't know about this!! Apparently yesterday morning it was made as official as it can get, that Yandi has been matched to a Danish couple who have been pursuing adoption for 4 years now. You have never seen a 2 1/2 year old guard a picture so diligently. His sticky dinner fingers tested the durability of the lamination. As he was chewing each bite, dinner must have been the furthest thing from his mind. A child knows he belongs in a family. He wants to belong. God created him to belong.
After eating, I had Yandi on my lap and asked him where his mommy was. He quickly points to his picture. I asked him where his daddy was. He quickly points to his picture. In the best way he knows how, he is embracing his parents for the first time.
During playtime, Yandi interacts with the other kids, and amuses himself with a ball, a stuffed bear, a truck... his parents are right with him. For a moment both hands were required: his picture is held in his mouth.
We received a message from our director today sharing a message that was received from Yandi's parents. Though well expressed, it was obvious that there was no expressing the height of their excitement to meet their son, or the depth of their love that they already have for him. They included a poem that they wrote for him. It was so beautiful. Expressing anticipation and excitement for learning together, growing together, living together.
Among my really beautiful moments that I am collecting here at Casa de Amor, this experience ranks very, very high.
27 January, 2008: Matthew
Just a note to say that I put up a video that is about Casa de Amor where we are working.
22 January, 2008: Nina
"If a brother or a sister is naked and lacks daily food, and one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, keep warm and eat your fill,' and yet you do not supply their bodily needs, what is the good of that?" - JAMES 2:16
On Saturday afternoons, a local Cochabamban, Mickey, with a scruffy beard, jolly belly, and a warm smile, packs up his tow-trailer with bread, milk, water heaters, and a large green tent. He arrives at the town´s main plaza around 4:00 and begins to set up the large tent, while others fill buckets of water. The women and children are already waiting. Dozens of indiginous women with long braids and colorful skirts, toting babies, toddlers, and children, many of whom work on the streets begging or selling anything from chewing gum to umbrellas. They line up at the back of the trailer for their quota of bread and milk, but the main reason they gather is yet to come. Four small tubs are set up in the tent, along with towels, shampoo, and clean children´s clothes. One by one the mothers send in their children to bathe in the fresh, warm water, and get their weekly cleaning.
Matthew and I got to help out with this on Saturday- they call it "baby washing". I washed the little children, many of them screaming- not at all used to the simple treatment of a bath, many of them with bruises on their backs, and sores and scabs on every part of their body, probably all of them with lice. They wash each child with fresh, hot water, and after the bath, the children are sent to a corner and outfitted with a "new" pair of clothes. Outside the tent, the mothers line up with their small children, and other mothers and older children wash their hair and faces in the warm water poured for them.
To me this is a beautiful picture of loving others by meeting their basic needs. I´m not at all suprised that it was started by a Bolivian man, one who knows what his people really need. There was no other pretext involved, there was no -come get clean and then listen to a bible story about how Jesus loves clean people -none of that. Simply being the hands and feet of Christ just as he knelt to wash the feet of those he loved.
12 January, 2008: Nina
Their uninhibited belly laughs are what bring the tears to my eyes more than anything. How could a parent miss this? I push her on the swing and the sunlight sparkles in her unruly hair, flying in and out of her face. She has such a beautiful smile and her laugh is like music. She laugh and laughs without stop in sheer delight. Her eyes are wide and bright, her skin perfect. I tickle her five-year-old toes. Such perfect toes. How can her mama not adore her perfect toes? I admire her child-like beauty and choke back the tears that should be shed by a mother thanking God for such a beautiful gift.
8 January, 2008: Matthew
Benito is doing better. He actually was able to come home in the afternoon of the next day following the time that I had spent with him. He is slowly recovering from his cough. Poor little guy still seems pretty uncomfortable and crying much of his awake time, but on the way none the less, I believe. Another little one, Blanca, spent the afternoon in the hospital with a fever, but did not need to stay the night thankfully. At the house they take the kids to the hospital when they reach 40 deg C (104 deg F).
This time that we are having here is a wonderful experience. It is a form of hands on service which I have really only been acquainted with before through other people. It seems strange, but I am realizing that in many ways it is my first time, first hand experience of giving care in this way. Dealing with discipline, cleaning poop, setting boundaries, and follow-through has in the past mostly been left to parents or other primary caregivers. My role with kids before has mostly been in the realm of getting them wound up... now I am experiencing getting them wound down too. Sensitive little hearts that are learning boundaries. God has some really amazing lessons for understanding love and care wrapped up in interactions with kids.
8 January, 2008: Nina
Wow, you would think that now that we are "settled" for a couple of months in one place, we would have more time to keep the blog updated- not the case! Internet is literally a block from our house but we have just been so busy! Don´t think for a minute that they are working us to death- Jennifer (the director) has let us set our own schedule, but it just seems like there is always somewhere to help out, something to do, or some little one who needs some one-on-one time. We are loving it here though, and it is life just like anywhere else, with joys and challenges. Matthew has taken on the project of fixing up the bikes. Its one of the kids' favorite activites but even on the new bikes they got for Christmas, the chains have been falling off continously and other things. We have made several trips into town looking for various bike parts, and he has been working on them with the oldest boy, Charly, in the afternoons. Charly loves the time they spend working on things and has been right at Matthew's side for other projects as well, such as un-clogging bathroom sinks! Matthew has a gift for teaching hands on things like that and I can see it is empowering Charly and boosting his self confidence.
I have done a few baking projects with the girls and really enjoy the time I get to spend with some of the older girls. (older being ages 7 to 11) The other day when the little ones were napping, I gave complete manicures, with hand massages and all. We had a lot of fun and they felt special. :) Of course, as always, I am drawn to the slightly behaviorally challenged kids, and have developed a special program to encourage some much lacking skills. I have made visual aids and graphs with pictures to help them track their progress. They get to choose from various "rewards" such as riding their bike with Matthew, staying up late to play a game, or going out to eat. So far, the Tias (the Bolivian staff who take care of the kids 24/7) have been really supportive, but we will see how sustainable it is. We have also been taking kids for special time in the park and down-town. Again, they love the special attention and really look forward to their turn to go.
Having worked for so many years with kids, and the last two years with severely behaviorally challenged kids, I have no problem feeling comfortable in the discipline role. Matthew also has eased his way into it and is doing very well! However, it is always on my mind, and I am trying to learn, how to teach kids to behave well without shaming them. I am reading a book on the topic of shame, and it is the most effective way to get someone to behave, and indeed it is used sooooo much with kids! The subtleties are incredible, most of us don't even realize them. I really want to give kids clear boundries, consistent consequences, and rewards for doing well, but I want also for them to know that they are soooo incredibly valuable for who they are- not for what they do! We can tell them that God loves them for who they are, but our actions teach them more than anything. How can we instill in them the unconditional love and internal value, if behavior seems always to be the number one concern? Just today, I heard someone telling the kids that to live in God's house, you have to obey! No, no, no! It breaks my heart to hear this. This is one of my challenges and my mission for while I am here; to love them as God does, communicate that unconditional love to them, disipline appropriately, and motivate them to behave well and obey... without shame.
2 January, 2008: Matthew
I am not yet a father. I had never looked down over a hospital bed before at a young life and wondered what he would be like. If he would grow to be tall, or like to make jokes. If he would enjoy reading or cutting the grass. But I was looking down at little Benito and praying for him as a father might do. Watching his little nostrils expand with each effort to capture enough oxygen through his tightened and infected airways. I prayed for his blood to be clean, and carry health and healing to his suffering body. I watched his beautiful little face as he slept and periodically gave evidence that he must have been dreaming about eating some milk.
Tears in my eyes?
How does a helpless little being like him evoke such emotion in me? He can touch my heart so deeply just with his existence, life, breath.
At 2 months old Benito is in the hospital (again) with pneumonia. When he coughs his whole face turns red, and it is a relief to hear him pull some air through his nose at last. His father is not there. His mother is not there. He is being raised in Casa de Amor with 30 "brothers & sisters".